The Girl Role: A Preface
I spend a great deal of time arguing against the rhetoric of current feminism. It is a feminism that neither represents me or moves me. It’s misguided, full of insolence and full of misplaced ideas of what women are and deserve.
I’m not the only one who thinks so. Just as quickly as feminists erupt these days, there is a counter reaction of women and men, that smashes down their cries and discredits them.
And I don’t want to form part of that group either. I think both extremes are equally superficial and mistaken in their arguments. There is a lot of ignorance and stiffness of thought.
There is a conversation to be had, about feminity, about why we have come to devalue it, about how to go forward. I don’t want to sit on the side and watch because I am hugely invested in fighting for female values, to make them understood, and to defend the role of women.
I’d like to begin my feminine manifesto by saying that I have a profound admiration for both men and women, and that their cooperation is my absolute priority
The role of women is cultural, and it is separate to what we call gender. Because our gender only indicates that we are female animals. But women are so much more- we are supposed to bring all the female qualities to the table. Qualities that don’t come as default: they have to be cultivated. And they are not exclusive to women either, but it is women who are expected to produce them. They have been assigned to us, and they are inseparable from our description.
It should be obvious that female and male energies, must come together for the world to be a whole, and that they coexist in all of us, men/ women. Both the male and the female are essential. And the problem that I think we face today is that:
- It’s only women who are cultivating the feminine
- Feminine energy is viewed as disposable and has come to be associated with shame and weakness
- Women are consequently associated with shame and weakness, and hugely undervalued
- Everything that women do in order to cultivate these values and fulfill their role is hugely undervalued, not respected, and not provided for
I think I am starting to decode the question when I say that our rival is this feeling of a lack of dignity that women are attached to, that everything we do is attached to. If there was a shift in the importance that we place on the feminine, everything would change. I'm speaking of a shift in perspective. For one, maybe men would want to cultivate these qualities too. Like they have done for centuries, up until very recently.
There is a general confusion between the genders, a sense of competition that is just not real. Men get no mentoring on how to be men, and neither do women. The difference is that when men succeed at being men, they get paid and rewarded. When women succeed at being women, we don’t get anything- in fact, we are told that it’s a waste of time. But we can’t neglect it, either.
There is also a palpable lack of support and camaraderie amongst women, whereas men help each other all the time. Men have a solid support system, women are only interested in competing with each other. And crucially, men’s role is a lot more focused and defined. There is a clear end in sight.
So while I truly believe that both sexes are misunderstood and disoriented, and we both need help, I also know, from my experience, that I am at a disadvantage, and that when I give all I’ve got, it’s not enough.
I don’t think there is a lack of justice, and I don’t have resentments. I live my life, safe in the knowledge that I am necessary and that what I do is of value. But I know that female/male energy is unbalanced, and that there is a lack of understanding. It’s not a duel, there is nothing to fight each other for.
I’d like to begin my feminine manifesto by saying that I have a profound admiration for both men and women, and that their cooperation is my absolute priority.
Feminine is intuition, collaboration, multi tasking, emotion, passion, creative energy, empathy, receptivity, and flow
This conversation is not about men versus women, or about female versus male even: it’s rather about how we can all work together. It’s mainly about how to get us, girls, to encourage each other, and to respect ourselves and our qualities. It’s to bring up the subject of the feminine, discuss what it is, relate to it. Acknowledge its role.
I don’t want to go any further in this introduction, but I want to tell you what feminine qualities are, because most of the guys I know are unclear. And again, I have to stress that these qualities are not exclusive to women, or at least they shouldn’t be. Feminine should be cultivated by all of us.
Feminine is intuition, collaboration, multi tasking, emotion, passion, creative energy, empathy, receptivity, and flow.
Coincidentally, in today’s economic dynamics these are intangible qualities that are not marketable, not rewarded, not respected. They don’t belong in well paid jobs. My point is that without these qualities, we could not live.
This, ladies and gentlemen, is called « Unbalance ». Unbalance in energy, and unbalance in perception.
And this is the beginning of a subject that I’m gonna call: The Girl Role.
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