warning - Strong language
(to be read under the influence of a bottle of cava)
R I couldn't find my keyhole so I thought...okay..I'll go round the block one more time
DIANA I don't know how you didn't get killed
R I was so naive, I didn't even realise anything could happen to me.
It's a survival mechanism
R It's nice to have different husbands because they compliment each other
DIANA I'd like a japanese boyfriend too
R I always thought, if I have kids from different men, I'd like one to be japanese. And we should also have a gorgeous arab son
DIANA really? an arab son?
R yes, trust me, they are really pretty
R I'm going to start my own country in the middle East
DIANA That's a bit of a stretch from the hut community
R I never said I wanted a hut community, you're the one with the huts!
R You wanna know why men like us? I'll be straight - because they think we have a tight p*ssy. That's it
And they are right
I can't argue with that
DIANA I love this shirt. Do I look like a vicar?
Will people confess to me?
DIANA They are hiding something. You know what we should do? Report them to the anti-terrorist hotline
R What is the anti-terrorist hotline?
DIANA I just wanna record everything you say
DIANA I'm not sure I want a gorgeous arab son