THE BEAUTIFUL SHOES AND THE DAMNED

I saw this girl walking around Bond Street today, and it triggered me. She was wearing these pretty pumps, and wobbled and fell from them several times in the 5 minutes I walked behind her, finally resigning to walking really slow (see film. Not being very agile, is she?). Men, of course, giggle when they see this scenario. "She can't walk" whatever.

GIRLS: Bad shoes make us look like idiots. It's humiliating. It's not funny. It has to stop

In the last - what- 10 years?, shoes from fashion houses have become the standard, 4 inch heels become the norm, and the look of the shoe is the only thing that counts. Last time I checked, design was about a compromise between functionality and appearance. There's so much more variety and so many new designers, and for what? These people can't design. When women can't walk in their shoes, the problem ladies and gents, is not that the woman can't walk. It's the idiot behind the shoes.

Impossible heels are never sexy: The walk is the first rule of seduction, every performer knows that, and that's ironically what heels were made for; they push hips forward to a great posture. But if you can't walk five steps forward with them on, what's the point? We may consider these shoes to be a striking addition to our fellatio routine, and that's all very admissible, but helloooo I'm not paying in excess of $1000 for one guy to see the back of my shoe. I like walking in my shoes, and I deserve it.

I feel like we've lost ourselves in the moment of holding something so beautiful, that construction didn't even matter. But it does matter, now more than ever. As heels get taller, and heels get thinner, the design- the construction- becomes crucial. Which is why I always encourage expensive stilettos because a stiletto is a delicate piece of artillery; it needs to have a very exact point of balance. Alas, you can't go by price anymore: Expensive designers have been for a few years now producing utter rubbish and getting away with it. Have we become blind? I can't imagine Marilyn Monroe or Bardot putting up with this shit.

This is not a plea against heels- on the contrary. I urge designers to work on them, because I don't feel like they doing their best job. It is possible to make great heels and they do exist, I own many but I search high and low. Gina and Miss Dior come to mind. They're tall, they're sexy, and I can walk in them. They're still tortuous  after a couple of hours, should you enjoy boasting of suffering for fashion on twitter. But they're useful, as much as a 4 inch heel can be. And I- I wear heels like nobody's business. If I cannot walk in your heels, you are the problem, not me. I'm aware that some women find it more challenging, but it's hard to judge when 95% of the shoes out there are design fails.

Heels that in the runway have to be glued to the girl's feet (and still I saw 3 girls falling from shoes in the last Fashion Week) shouldn't really be in the market without a clear warning. Young girls are buying these shoes because they're "cool" and there's no much other choice, and stumbling around with them all night..It's sad. Women are cutting off a toe to wear bad shoes, toe amputation, I'm not even kidding.

And I will say this: However much I adore the highest heels, I think it's a bad habit to get used to 4+ inch heels: it's like walking en pointe, and your hips don't move right when you do that, there's no posture, it's unattractive. Plus, ballerina's are limping by 30, not something I aspire to. 90% of shoes need to go back to prototype to make them useful, then we talk. It's not a consumer product if you can't use it: it's just art.