SEX WITH GIRLS - NSFW

I'm gonna dig a little more than my title suggests, but this is nevertheless a sexually charged conversation with explicit language. You know me..So there's your warning. Read on if you wish.

oct4 girls

I was put in a situation the other day that sort of provoked me. I was with this girl I really liked, and a guy comes by and asks: "Are you going to lick her?"

And this is the problem.

We insist on categorizing our sexual preference and sex acts according to porn industry standards. I fail to understand why.

It's always been clear to me that sexual preference falls somewhere on a scale, and is not yes/no conclusive, in the same way that sex happens in very many different ways, and is not reduced to penetration. Perhaps because it came so naturally to me from an early age that I embrace every detour: I had my first "falling in love" experiences with both men and women way before I learnt a code of morals. A romantic relationship can be platonic, and a sexual relationship can be had with no actual baby-making action.

It's so frustrating when people try to classify women into straight - therefore is fucking a dick. Or bisexual - therefore is licking a pussy (possibly with a man watching). I mean, really? What is this, binary programming?? I think more and more people are starting to get it, after a long period of "good" and "bad" since the 80s, we're starting to understand again that reality isn't compartmented like that.

But if there's one thing I wanna put across today is- Newsflash: Most women don't have sex with women the way that men have sex with women. For many reasons, but mainly because women are different to men. This should be pretty straightforward but evidently it is not: In 2013, you put two women in a room, and the man waiting outside the door will believe these girls are eating each other out! To me, this is incomprehensible.

The main thing about women is that, unlike men, we are not controlled by our genitals and we are not driven by the prospect of climax. We. Don't. Need it. I keep trying to make my male friends understand this. We want it, but we usually want it from a certain person, we don't just want IT, in abstract, for the sake of it. If you put two women together, there's no reason for them to rush straight into coitus, we enjoy waiting, discovering and doing other things. Yes we have orgasms (not always via our clitoris, to bust another myth) but pleasure comes from many sources and there's a hell of a lot more mating dance.

There are so many variants, like in friendships, you don't do the exact same things with all your friends, they are not the same. And in romance, there's the guy who's the best kisser, the guy that only wants BJs, and the guy who simply plays the piano. It doesn't make it any less of a thing. Everybody has their forte, love is not a 1-2-3 activity book, and certainly sex with girls isn't.

Thoughts? Experiences? Anything you'd like to share?