Why do people not value opposite gender friendships?  I was just talking to Francesca about this, it keeps happening all around me and it really bothers me: People behaving shitty when you're "just friends" and we all taking it, as if this was okay.

Here are the "rules" of male/female friendships:

a) You're never allowed to be jealous of who the other person hangs out with

b) Any other plan the other person makes, always overrides you

c) You never have the right of being invited to anything the other person does

It's really weird! There's no respect, and no effort put into this relationship. It can never be of any real value for either party.

Guys are particularly good at being assholes to their female friends, they do things which they would never do to their guy friends. Female friends are often invited to essentially watch their male friend flirt with other girls, then he won't take her anywhere, and he'll leave whenever he wants without any consideration of what she wants to do. Regardless of whether I'm attracted to this person or not, this is an exceptionally boring plan for the female. (And vice versa)

Put it into perspective. Imagine a same-sex friendship working this way:

I arrange to meet my girlfriend Tammy for coffee. Tammy arrives late, because she was "on the phone with another girlfriend". I am angry, but I have showed up with Claire anyway, and I am chatting with her and ignoring Tammy. Claire doesn't even acknowledge Tammy. Tammy spends the whole coffee talking about how amazing her other girlfriend Christa is, and all the plans she's doing with her. Which she never even told me about or invited me to. Which is quite rude and of course makes me angry and jealous. Then I say to Tammy- "I think me and Claire are gonna go now" and leave. How exactly do you keep a friendship like this, and why??