ONLY IN IBIZA
Step by step account of boarding an Easyjet flight in Ibiza
1. I check the gate number of my flight on the screen. It has already been announced. Gate n7
2. Quick detour to check out the makeup counters. Very aware that I need to go immediately to gate 7
3. I go to the toilet
4. I can't find the gate because there are no signs?
5. I get to gate 7, 10min before boarding time, expecting to find a queue round the block as usual
6. Nobody in the queue. Everybody seems to be sitting down on the seats, some of them sleeping.
7. Since nobody seems to be moving, i find myself a seat. This all seems suspiciously civilized for Easyjet
8. I sit down, and look around me. Everyone most relaxed. Doesn't look like they have the least intention of forming a queue anytime soon
9. Cabin crew expectantly waiting for the passengers to make a move. They announce the Easyjet boarding system. Passengers turn to look at crew, seem unimpressed
10. Cabin crew member asks passengers to please walk over and form a queue.
11. Cabin crew manages to mobilise passengers who slowly walk up to their queue, no stress tainting their countenance.
12. Boarding begins
How it works in London: Passengers in a crowd standing in front of the screens that will announce the gate. The second the gate is announced, they all run for their lives until they reach the gate, forming an interminable queue where they will stand for approximately 40 minutes until the crew even appears