Last night: A chronicle

jan5 bathroom

1. Friend texts me "Come join me at the Box tonight!"

2. I say no. He insists but I'm busy

3.  I get home and realise I had made a mistake with my dates, and today is actually tomorrow, and of course I have a party at the Box today

4. So I go there. I go in with the host and we don't recognise each other but pretend we do

5. I go to the bar and ask the waiter for something whisky-based

6.  I dance

7. Manager offers me something. I go for something whisky-based

8. Manager helps me find my friends because I am blind

9. The show starts and I get a double massage

10. I go to the backstage bathroom but end up in the kitchen where I am escorted into the bathroom

11. Find more friends

12. Friends launch me into the air

13. We go to the pole room

14. Manager comes in and practices "the tree" on the pole

15. I ask everyone if they've been taking their liver supplements. Surprisingly, they are

16. Security guy comes in and says we can't be there

17. Then he attempts a spin on the pole

18. Repeats that we can't be there

19. I demonstrate. He seems satisfied. He leaves

20. Manager offers me something. I go for a large bottle of water

21. Somebody steals my VIP water!

22. 4.10 I go out and paps start crying "Taylor Taylor". I curse the day Taylor Swift got a fringe.

23. I go home and have some green tea