1. Friend texts me "Come join me at the Box tonight!"
2. I say no. He insists but I'm busy
3. I get home and realise I had made a mistake with my dates, and today is actually tomorrow, and of course I have a party at the Box today
4. So I go there. I go in with the host and we don't recognise each other but pretend we do
5. I go to the bar and ask the waiter for something whisky-based
6. I dance
7. Manager offers me something. I go for something whisky-based
8. Manager helps me find my friends because I am blind
9. The show starts and I get a double massage
10. I go to the backstage bathroom but end up in the kitchen where I am escorted into the bathroom
11. Find more friends
12. Friends launch me into the air
13. We go to the pole room
14. Manager comes in and practices "the tree" on the pole
15. I ask everyone if they've been taking their liver supplements. Surprisingly, they are
16. Security guy comes in and says we can't be there
17. Then he attempts a spin on the pole
18. Repeats that we can't be there
19. I demonstrate. He seems satisfied. He leaves
20. Manager offers me something. I go for a large bottle of water
21. Somebody steals my VIP water!
22. 4.10 I go out and paps start crying "Taylor Taylor". I curse the day Taylor Swift got a fringe.
23. I go home and have some green tea