Funniest Tuesday afternoon

1. Enter pub with girlfriend

2. Men come over, they tell us its gambling expo. Norwegian.

3. Men come over.

4. Man suddenly holds my left arm, I look to my left, he's smiling but facing forward. There's a line of them to my left. I'm confused. I see a flash. I look in front of me. I've been photographed! I feel like a monument

5. Men come over. Norwegian. Challenge us to sing happy birthday to his friend. Admits he placed a bet on it. What does he do? He's a managing gambler. Duh! I ask him to explain. He says 'he manages slot machines' We sing and get a free drink. Asks if I have a boyfriend? Yes I do. Ignores me. Asks for my number. We get photographed

6. Friend comes over

7. Man from the window is hitting the window. My girlfriend tells me not to look

8. Man comes over. Polish. Introduces himself to everyone at the table, for no apparent reason. Starts speaking polish. Then leaves.

9. All men leave our table. Quiet two seconds. Man comes over

10. Man comes over. Says he's spanish but he's southamerican, maybe Peru. Says he's 22, looks like 35. Bites my waist in a fast movement and leaves

11. Norweigan man from before comes over, proclaims he is 'a protector' and he will shield us from 'all these crazy people' and fight them if anybody else 'attacks us'

12. We leave And it's only 20.30!