NIGHT

[at my friend's serviced apartments building. Reading the list of rules stuck on the door]

DIANA
RULE #6 "Guests to ensure nightime peace and quiet of the building!!" You're breaking the ruuuules. I'm gonna report you

MARCUS
it's all your fault

DIANA
"Guests who make noise and are drunk may have to leave the building" We are drunk.

MARCUS
 I'm gonna go invite the neighbours over

DIANA
okay

[at Sketch]

DIANA
Why did you call the waiter "handsome"?

ANIEL
Because he gave me a strawberry

TIM
I told the owner I was with Diana Anastasia and that she wanted a chocolate martini. But the bar was closed so he gave me his bottle of champagne

DIANA
Oh, I thought the bar was closed so we were leaving

TIM
Noooooo

Amazing HD photo of my water coming up:
Water

Manager
What am I gonna drink now?

ANIEL
You got the security guy's number!

DIANA
No I did not!

MARCUS
You got the sailor's number!

DIANA
No, HE did!

TIM
He thinks your gay

C
I'm going to google your website

DIANA
Good.

C
I'll find out what it is

DIANA
I bet you will

C
Dude it's her name dot com

C
Ok so you're coming to ibiza this summer

MARCUS
I'll only go if Diana is coming

ANIEL
I'll only go if the taxi driver is coming

ANIEL
I think it was the sixteen tequilla shots

MARCUS
It's all Diana's fault

DIANA
What did you do with my shoes? I thought you wanted to try them on. Did you hide them?

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