CONVERSATIONS

DIANA
Is there no hairspray in your room? What do you do when you have to keep a hairstyle??

ALEX
Have you ever seen me with a hairstyle?

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ALEX
Did your boyfriends pay for everything when you guys went out?

CLARA
No. I paid for the cabs to his place

DIANA
And from

CLARA
The pretty underwear

DIANA
The lube

CLARA
The makeup, perfume, shoes

DIANA
Outfits. Beauty treatments. Hair removal. Video equipment. Boyfriends are a long term investment

CLARA
Cooking

DIANA
Psychiatrist

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CLARA
What could we do now?

ALEX
I don't know...i'm quite sleepy...we ate, we shopped...we had tea...

CLARA
If you're sleepy we should go out and get coffee to wake up before we shop a little?

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Little Cousin Age 9 female
Diana now I have an ex. I'm on my second boyfriend. I'm following your steps!

DIANA
Oh no. But what happened with the first?

Little Cousin Age 9 female
You know how it is..you drift..We went out five times, we used to go to the swimming pool...And now I'm over him and I like another guy

DIANA
That's great.

Little Cousin Age 9 female
I'm getting a little anxious

DIANA
Does he know you like him?

Little Cousin Age 9 female
I hope. I've been ignoring him for weeks

DIANA
Well then he must

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Little Cousin Age 12 male
I am so hot. Do you wanna see my abs without a t shirt?

DIANA
I'm dying to, honey

Little Cousin Age 12 male
Okay get in the changing room, give me your aviators and get out the camera

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P (12 y/o cousin, male)
Have you seen your boyfriend naked?

DIANA
Of course. How would I check if I wanna be her girlfriend otherwise??

P
Haha!

DIANA
I was kidding you pervert

P

Are you a virgin?

DIANA
Yes

P
No you're not, you've had like three boyfriends

DIANA
Then why would you ask?

AUNT
That's a private issue honey you can't ask her that

P
But I wanna know. Like, Mom I know you're not a virgin because DUH

AUNT

It is the time. You are now twelve and I wish you to know you were adopted and we don't love you

DIANA
She mentions now because they offer a 12 year refund in Cambodia. That's why you're so tan

P
Not true!!!