Flat adverts – Euphemisms

I've been looking for flats these last few days (Angel/Shoreditch, if you know of anything!) and it's a total nightmare, there's plain and utter crap mixed with things that are decent but far away. And I am super picky. Yesterday I was shown one for 495 a week that was old, spacious, and the wood floor, to be brief, needed to be changed. The wood was broken and black with dirt. Now, do you think I'm gonna pay 495, or one dime, for a floor that needs to be changed?? and if i had that kind of money, which I do not, wouldn't I spend it on travelling the world or something with actual value?

These are just some euphemisms I've found to be true. I believe I made a similar post two years ago when I moved to this place. 


ultra-modern = Doesn't have a bathtub

"in the heart of" = between two stations, not close to either

"close to" = not in 

"lots of storage space" = has a wardrobe

"vibrant neighborhood" = traffic noise 

newly refurbished = received some repairs in the last 10 years

short walk = 30min walk

Feel free to add your own

Related posts:

  1. FLAT HUNTING
  2. I’m eating a grapefruit

2 thoughts on “Flat adverts – Euphemisms

  1. Charming! – Quirky, unusual and utterly inconvenient traits e.g. the bathtub is in the kitchen or oddly-shaped rooms where you can’t place normal furniture.

  2. Oh yes charming is a good one! I saw a charming place last week: tiny kitchen with the sink in a corner where you couldnt even fit in to wash a dish

    Sent from my iPhone

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