My flat is really lonely and I'm sitting in the bath soaking, sulking and thinking with my macbook pro. This is what i call, giving my laptop a bath. I was reading February Marie Claire earlier this evening - the article about the woman who finds love at 43 and gets married and lives happily ever after (if there's life after 40. All the successful people i met this week are 22) and even though it's meant to be positive i cried, because it's sad to be lonely for so long. I'm not sure I could make it that long by myself. But it's hard to be with someone, too

I've always thought of relationships as being as easy as free love: I like you, you like looking at me, let's go. Then we'll keep it going by having sex every day. I get the attention -i thought- so all there is to do now is choose one. WRONG. Relationships have nothing to do with love and sex! They have to do with timing, respect, tolerance, lots of patience and other terms that are irrelevant to me. As you get older, they have to do with culture, baggage and lack thereof, brutal honesty but careful exposure of truth...All while juggling the delicate balance of emotion, and invariably sex.

It's all so new and disheartening.

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